Finn Deerhart on How do you Begin to Uncover your Erotic Identity? Inquiry, Meaning and Purpose in Sex – Smart Sex, Smart Love

Sex can, and should, be an access point to an immense internal world. In healing our connections to ourselves and others, we uncover a powerful way of being in our bodies, our relationships, and our lives. Finn Deerhart, sex counselor, coach, Tantra facilitator and public speaker, discussed this subject during a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast featuring host Joe Kort, PhD, psychotherapist, certified sex therapist and clinical director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan.

The challenge today for many individuals is what to do when you notice that your behaviors are not sexually aligning with how you feel inside; your internal life is not matching your external life. As a practitioner with the Queer Couples Center in San Francisco, California, Finn works with individuals and couples, offering coaching and counseling on sex and intimacy, as well as helping queer men find meaning in eroticism to create a sense of loving with other men. The process of unraveling your core identity to rebuild your authentic self can be a struggle, he finds.

Sex and relationships are the lenses through which we all can examine our lives to help guide us into healthy relationships and exciting sex that reflects our own personal quest for wholeness. When it comes to relationships, Finn believes many of us are working against strong conditioning and faulty templates and need help addressing the challenges we face in relationships. As individuals release blame and get really honest with themselves, healing can occur. Transformation requires patience, practice, and a holistic understanding of the individual and relational challenges that you may be facing. As we uncover our personal truths, we also contribute to the collective healing for us all.

In this podcast, Finn also talks about the Elements of Desire; owning your own shadow; affirmative pleasure; and fantasy as the map, not the territory.

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